Monster Man (2003) - Movie Review
What do you get when the writer of 1994’s Double Dragon decides to write and direct a horror movie?
One of the most so-bad-its-good movies of the direct to DVD era.
Let’s discuss.
Do you remember the 2000’s? It was a time of constant crisis following 9/11 for us here in US. Gas prices were fluctuating wildly as the conflict in the Middle East intensified. People were stuck inside for large periods due to the price gouging, but groceries were cheap and the Blockbuster Movie Pass was up and running. 2000-2007 is really the prime direct to dvd period for original, disposable horror. It was a time of classics like She Creature, Terror Toons, and Leprechaun 6: Back 2 tha Hood.
Enter Monster Man, a 2003 creature feature / road trip horror brought to us by writer / director Michael Davis. If you don’t know that name, I’m sure you’re not alone, but let me fill you in. Davis has been around forever behind the camera in Hollywood and has seemingly worked every job therein. For example, he worked on 1991’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze in the art department, but then also wrote 1994’s Prehysteria 2. The one credit that leapt out at me was his work writing for a television show I thought I hallucinated as part of a childhood fever dream, 1992’s The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys. Needless to say, this guy has experience across the map and is familiar with practical effects.
Which should make him the perfect guy to helm a horror movie right?
Well, yes and no.
The film focuses on the virginal Eric as he journeys across the country to tell his college crush how much he loves her and his best friend Harley, who is trying to convince him to do anything else. Together they cut across the southern United States in an attempt to get to Eric’s love before her nuptials. But what starts as a carefree road trip turns into a nightmare when the boys cross paths with a monstrous highwayman in a very large truck. What follows is a man-child’s coming of age story filled with blood, dismemberment, and more than a few laughs. Will the boys find a way to outrun their pursuer or will they be the next meal for the Monster Man?
If you were looking for Kubrick, absolutely no.
If you were looking for a raunchy early 2000’s comedic take on the iconic 1971 tele-film Duel, then you’d be spot on.
And boy does this ever feel like the 2000’s. Let’s go through the list:
Virgin nerd-boy protagonist pining for his unrequited love?
CHECK
Annoying, overtly horny, boisterous and annoying best friend sidekick?
CHECK
Gorgeous hitchhiker with a heart of gold who teaches the protagonist the true meaning of love?
CHECK
Terrible standard def transfer.
CHECK
In a post-American Pie world, everything needed to be raunchy, in your face, and loaded with gen-Xposition. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve seen an Ethan Hawke movie or two. It’s that trope of characters just randomly launching into monologues about the state of the world and flexing the depth of the intellects, but in this case it’s monologues about vaginas and whiners. If that was all it was, this movie would be unwatchable.
However, when you toss in a satanic serial killer whose weapon of choice is a monster truck welded together with the fires of hell. Now, you’ve got a cult-classic.
However, the has one major miss—which may have actually worked out for the best.
There isn’t a name actor to splash across the dvd cover.
As much as I love Not Another Teen Movie, Eric Jungmann is not a draw and neither is Justin Urich, who if you don’t know his name—you’d know his oddly Chucky-like face—at least if you have watched any crime procedurals from the time.
But I mean, look at the combination on the new release shelf. Wrong Turn had Eliza Dushku’s bosoms front and center, The Gathering had a perfect shot of Christina Ricci’s haunting beuaty staring into the camera, and Delta Delta Die! had both the goddess Julie Strain and the Demi-goddess Tiffany Shepis on the cover.
Cancel me if you wanna, but the 2000’s was the decade more than any other where SEX SELLS blew up. We’re talking the decade of the Guy Game, Cleopatra 2525, and the rise of online pornography.
If you didn’t have a smoking hot lady gracing your cover—you went getting rented.
I worked at a Blockbuster and can attest to this fact.
The main reason for this factor is that the scripts, effects, and everything else about this boom in direct to dvd movies was cheap. Yes, there are exceptions, but for every Cherry Falls there’s a dozen Black Cadillac or Venom.
The script for this movie may as well been written on a cocktail napkin. It’s lowbrow, juvenile humor stereotypical of the time. the plot is basically non-existent, and stuff just happens.
The acting is fairly cheesy, but at least everything actual tries and you can tell the folks had a lot of fun making the film. Shoutout to horror icon Aimee Brooks, one of the most naturally gorgeous women to ever appear in a Critters sequel.
The special effects are all practical and are very much reminiscent of low-budget films like 1992’s Dead Alive.
The movie doesn’t take itself seriously and neither should you.
If you need something to put on in the background while you’re doing something else or you’re just not wanting something you have to put a whole lot of thought into.
Monster Man will fit the bill.
Check it out streaming free on Amazon Prime Video.
