The Tall Man (2012) - Movie Review

What do you get when you mix an intriguing premise with a stellar cast and put them under the direction of one of the godfathers of the French Extreme movement?

A surprisingly tepid, overly preachy attempt at social commentary that lacks any teeth.

Let’s discuss…

The Tall Man is a mystery / thriller brought to us by writer / director Pascal Laugier. AKA the man who wrote and directed one of the best movies of all time in 2008’s Martyrs. But if you’re expecting anything close to the brilliance and brutality of that work, or the haunting anxiety of his follow-up effort, Incident in a Ghostland, you’re in the wrong place. This film is a pale imitation of what this filmmaker once was. He literally just continues to repeat the same plot device every single movie and while it was effective in Martyrs and was used with extreme creativity in Incident in a Ghostland, here it’s a lazy, dare I say—Bitch assed contrivance.

Don’t misconstrue my language as meaning that I’m angry.

No.

This film is the cinematic equivalent of I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

I wanted to like this movie. The first thirty-five minutes are an extremely well done depiction of the decrepitude of the Pacific Northwest. If you saw my recent review of Antlers, there’s a lot of that some bleak hopelessness to be found here. The film is shot with the crisp sterility of High Tension or Martyrs. The use of white light in place of yellow gives the film a documentary feel and the cinematography and editing is strong.

It’s just too bad that the brilliant introduction of the film was a complete lie. The atmosphere that was built and the creepy pasta vibe was a bluff. It was the pitch that sold producers on the film. Unfortunately, Laugier forgot to write the rest of the script and thus, the second half of the film feels like a mad scramble to come up with answers, but also attempt to frame it as having a deep message.

Spoiler Alert - It doesn't.

The film focuses on the town Cold Rock, WA and the mysterious disappearances of 18 children therein. The children disappear without a trace. There is so little evidence that even the big city police detectives on lone to the small town are left clueless. In the midst of this turmoil is Julia Denning, the town’s nurse. As the town has no schools, no hospital, and no other community outreach, Julia plays den mother to the town’s kids. She does her best to keep the town’s anxiety in check, but when her own child is taken it’s almost too much to bear. What follows is a blood tinged chase after the town’s boogeyman, but as Julia gets closer will she find that some myths are too real? Will she, herself be the next victim of the Tall Man?

God damn, I make that sound good don’t I?

Well, it’s not.

The film feels like it was meant to be set in rural France or Eastern Europe where the idea of a town that has no social services at all would actually be commonplace. In the Pacific Northwest however, for those outside of the States, is one of the most socialist areas of the country. There are more schools, libraries, and homeless people than anywhere else in the country. The idea that a town wouldn’t have any school system is laughable in that area. I get why they picked the setting as the Pacific Northwest has the most haunting forest vistas on any coast.

It’s just one of many ways Laugier dropped the ball.

Where the production didn’t drop the ball is the casting department. Carmen Kotyk deserves an Oscar for the crew of genre veterans she assembled in this film. This group of actors is so much better than the material they’re given it’s insane.

Let’s start with Jessica Biel, who I feel was let down by the material. She gives a fantastic performance here. I think Jessica Biel got the short end of the stick in the horror genre. She was great in the surprisingly good 2003 Texas Chainsaw remake and she's equally good here. It’s just too bad the film doesn’t give her any room to stretch out her character.

Her supporting cast includes the always amazing Stephen Mchattie of Pontypool and Come to Daddy fame. He is his normal, cooler than you self here, but again has only a handful of lines of dialogue.

Equally underused was William B. Davis, most known as the Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-files. He’s a supremely talented actor and he steals every scene that he’s in the film, but unfortunately his appearances are few and far between.

The rest of the cast is filled with Horrorcon regulars like Supernatural’s Samantha Ferris, Kingdom Hospital’s Janet Wright, It: Chapter Two and Leprechaun: Origins’ Teach Grant, and Silent Hill and Kingdom Hospital’s Jodelle Ferland.

Joelle Ferland is that rare child actor who grows up to be as hauntingly beautiful as she was as a child. She has the ghostly quality to her features that reminds me of someone like Tilda Swinton. She looks like she’s from a better dimension than ours. I

If any of my books ever get made into film, she would be one of the stars. She’s so goddamn charismatic, but again she’s wasted on this trash film.

I can’t go any farther without:

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The twist in this film might have worked and I say MMMMMIIIIIGGGGHHHHT have worked, if the film had managed it’s time better. The idea of the Tall Man is a blatant rip-off of the Slenderman mythos which was in it’s heyday when the film was made. However, the idea that Slenderman is actually a secret society that steals kids in order to give them a better life is sickeningly optimistic in a post-Epstein, post-Nygaard world.

The idea that Julia was the villain, but not actually, because she’s tearing kids away from their uneducated, white trash lives is laughable. The film shows that not all of the children come from abusive homes. Many of them actually were in loving homes with good parents who loved and missed them.

The further idea that this secret society thinks that stealing underprivileged kids from their families in order to give them to rich people to raise is one of the most asinine, rich person ideas I’ve ever seen in film.

I grew up a poor kid on scholarship to one of the richest private schools in an extremely rich state. I was and still am friends with people of obscene wealth passed down through generations. These people don’t see the world as normal humans do. Their kids are raised by nannies and servants. The idea that kids would be better off being raised by people with money is just another leap of logic that defines this film’s legacy.

If the secret society wanted to actually help these kids, they could devote their combined wealth to opening a goddamn school or Boys and Girls Club in the town. They could fund a private hospital and doctor.

But NOOOOOOOO.

The town doctor fakes his own death in order to steal kids to give them to 1%ers.

What a crock of shit.

If they’d cut out the 20 minutes of this subplot, they could have crafted a good horror movie where the final frames reveal that, Julia killed these children on the alter of the Tall Man. Her mind having been warped by being groomed by her much older husband who bought her through human trafficking.

Instead, we get this convoluted piece of shit.

Support the actors by watching their other films, don’t support this garbage.

If you do feel the need to satisfy some extreme masochistic tendency this film is available on Amazon Prime Video.