Call Girl of Cthulhu - Movie Review
There are times when you are browsing Amazon prime and you see titles pop-up that you know can’t be good. At least, they can’t be good-good. Maybe they’re so bad it’s good, but you get the picture. Most of these films are low budget, low concept fare that barely qualify as an actual film production. Call Girl of Cthulhu is the rare exception to the rule. With great poster / box art, a catchy title, and some clever writing, this film falls squarely in the category of cult classic. It’s still a low budget film, but it’s a low budget film that is crafted with love for the source material. It makes a huge difference if the people behind the film care about the spirit of their work.
Call Girl of Cthulhu is the simple story of an underpaid graphic designer named Carter Wilcox (David P. Carollo).
Timeout!
This is where the fun begins and the creativity is evident. Every character’s name is a reference to a character or important object in the Cthulhu Mythos of H.P. Lovecraft. For example, the name Carter is a reference to my second favorite Lovecraft work: “The Statement of Randolph Carter.” It’s a fitting nod to have this character be the one who gives a sworn statement to Detective Rita LaGrassi (Leanna Chamish), another reference to one of the main narrators of Lovecraft’s “The Call of Cthulhu.”
Carter Wilcox is a talented artist, but talent doesn’t always lead to monetary gain or love. Having given up on the latter, he gives most of his meager income to a Cam-Girl. Her watches her constantly, even though in his mind he hears her belittle him incessantly. To be blunt, he’s a benign incel. He’s a young man who is in love with being in love. Which from reading Shakespeare, never ends well. He rents a room from an industrial musician and alt-girl, Erica Zann (Nicolette Le Faye) in a trashy apartment building frequented by drug addicts and prostitutes. Lucky for Carter, he chances into a meeting with Riley Whatley, played by the entrancing Melissa LaMartina. Riley is a working girl who has hit a point in her life where apathy is the working order. She’s popular in the neighborhood as she had few qualms about the varied kinks of her clients. When she shows up for her appointment with Carter, she’s taken aback. He’s not the normal middle-aged married adulterer she’s used to. He’s a decent looking, talent artist, who only wants to paint her. The scenes between Carter and Riley are almost too real. Having dated women who worked as sex workers in my past, I know the pain and hurt that comes with it. There’s a vulnerability to actually attempting to have a relationship while in that world. These scenes evoked those memories. Especially when Riley gets self-conscious about her birthmark. The birthmark is of course in the shape of the iconic Cthulhu.
This is the launching pad for all sorts of zany, ultraviolent fun. An evil Cthulhu cult is looking to wake the old gods using Riley. Carter and a hodgepodge group of monster hunters have to try and stop it. In between, there’s plenty of body horror including tentacle-sex kills, a giant cannibalistic penis, and a satisfying amount of bare breasts. If you grew up with Full Moon or Troma like I did, you’ll know the type of picture you’re walking into. The only difference is that this film is more cleverly written than most anything Troma has done. Special shoutout to the writer, Jimmy George there.
As an aside: The thing I love about these low budget films, is that the women are natural. They don’t have giant bolt-ons. They look like real people, which makes everything more believable.
Speaking of that, I’m surprised Melissa LaMartina hasn’t been in more films. She’s gorgeous and ticks all the boxes of my mid-twenties type of girl. I know that she does work on late night horror shows, think Mr. Lobo, but I believe she could be an amazing scream queen. She looks almost exactly how I wrote Elizabeth in my series of novels, The Killing Heart. So, I’m biased. It also helps that her husband Chris LaMartina co-wrote and directed the film. You can definitely see the affection in how he shot her. It makes the character more endearing that I think was intended in the script.
This is a fun, gory time at the movies. I don’t want to go into more detail as I don’t want to spoil the fun. What I will say is that I loved the ending. If you read cosmic horror, you know that the endings share one constant. Man is powerless against the inevitability of the beyond. Jimmy George and director Chris LaMartina stay faithful to this in their own sneaky way.
See this movie. Buy a copy new from Amazon or the distributor. Support indie film!
PS. If the Filmmakers would like to make the Killing Heart… I’m game.
