The Lords of Salem (2012) - Movie Review

What do you get when you take a disgruntled filmmaker coming off being forced to make a sequel he didn’t want to make?

A spark of brilliance unlike anything he’s brought to the table before.

Let’s be honest, Rob Zombie is divisive. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, and that pisses people off. Me personally, I grew up loving both of his musical projects, White Zombie and his self titled group. I really liked him as a person in interviews as well, because I saw a kindred spirit in him as a young horror hound. As an adult, I totally get his no fucks given attitude, especially after my time in corporate management.

As a filmmaker, I’ve been split.

I hate House of a 1000 Corpses. I hated it when I was a teen and I dislike it a little less. I completely understood what Zombie was going for with the film, as I have a deep love of 70’s grind house, disposable horrors, but it was just too uneven in tone and the rules of the game keep changing.

Then The Devil’s Rejects hit and I was in love. This film did more to resurrect the grind house, 70’s grime-crime thrillers than anything by Tarantino or Rodriguez put out. This film did the impossible, it made the Firefly family likable. It wasn’t immediate, their characters weren’t totally changed, but as they lose more and more of their grip on their world, you began to root for them. Pair that with one of my favorite endings in recent history, I will defend this one for life.

Then we got the notorious Halloween remakes. I think we can say it now, they weren’t good. The first was far too brutal and in the case of the unrated cut—too rapey. It just didn’t feel like Halloween. It showed far too much to give the necessary, stalker tension of the original film. The sequel was trash, but Zombie didn’t want to make a sequel. The Weinstein was in full effect here as Harvey pretty much held Zombie as gunpoint to make it and it shows.

By this point, I was off the Zombie as a filmmaker train, so I skipped Lords of Salem.

I thought it was just another movie starring Sherri Moon Zombie that would be rapey and gross and lacking character and plot.

But I’m happy to say I was wrong.

This film is unlike anything Zombie put out previous. It’s an ode to the films that inspired me to become a horror writer and artist. Movies like Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, and Witch Finder General. Movies that were based on atmosphere and history. Movies that were far ahead of their time and flat out groundbreaking in the guttural terror they inspired. Movies that showcase humanity as the monsters.

The Lords of Salem is a 2012 supernatural thriller written and directed by Rob Zombie.

This film focuses on radio shock jock Heidi Hawthorne who is trying to live an honest life. Having battled with substance abuse for her entire life, she’s on a razor’s edge, but when she receives a mysterious package at the radio station from the Lords of Salem, she receives a push she could never be ready for. What follows is a conflict with witches, demons, and a battle for Heidi’s very soul. Will she be able to reach the light beyond the darkness or will she fall victim to the Prince of Darkness? Find out in tonight’s film, The Lords of Salem.

It’s a basic premise and when things are basic, they must be flawless.

Is this a great movie? No.

Is it the best movie Rob Zombie has directed? Absolutely.

This film features the best cinematography, set design, set dressing, character development, and writing that Zombie has ever produced. It also has some of the best acting Sheri Moon Zombie has ever done. Having seen her in interviews frequently over the years, it’s obvious that she’s extremely charismatic—but it rarely translates on film. She was great in the Devil’s Rejects but I’ve really not been a fan of her acting otherwise. In this film, she comes off as sincere, likable, and vulnerable. I actually care what was going to happen to her.

Maybe it’s that I related to the character. I started using hard drugs at the age of 15 and have been in recovery for decades—but it never stops. That finger is always tapping on your shoulder, offering you the easy way out.

This film illustrates that struggle extremely well and its a key factor in the climax of the film.

It helps that the supporting case is out of the world. I mean the talent in this movie is incredible. Let’s count them down. You have a triumvirate of Hollywood legends in the queen of horror Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson, and Patricia Quinn. Then of course one of the absolute fixtures of my childhood, the incredible Meg Foster. For any Kingdom Hospital fans out there, the man, myth, and the legend that is Bruce Davidson gets to play a good guy for once. And guess what, he’s fantastic as always and was easily my favorite character in the film. Zombie regular Jeff Daniel Phillips also turns in a strong, charismatic performance. He finally gets to play a normal Joe and he definitely makes the most of it.

and we can’t forgot Ken Foree, who is the most slept on horror icon in history. The man turns in solid gold every film he’s in and this is not exception. His role is small, but every scene he’s just as magnetic as he’s ever been.

But the real star of this film is audio soundscape Griffin Boice and the rock god John 5 created outshines everything. The song of the Witches is unbelievably creepy and uncomfortable—and yet I’ve listened to it after watching the movie a couple times again because it’s just so damn good. I will be picking up the soundtrack on vinyl if I see it on my hunts.

The movie is lush, vibrant, and outright wild. You never know from scene to scene if what you’re seeing is real or a hallucination.

This film is the bastard lovechild of Jacob’s Ladder and Suspiria.

It’s a modern day horror fairy tale.

Does it makes sense?

Probably not to most of the people who watch it, but that’s not really the point. This film is an artistic flex.

I’m sad it was overlooked.

Check this out streaming free on Amazon Prime Video.